The Beginning (Again)

In some ways there are two new things beginning (again) here. 

A new blog (hello blog four (??) Aswell as another stab into the world of slimmingworld. 

My main blog will still continue as normal with my fashion,  beauty and lifestyle posts but here we are at the end of the year and I feel like I need to start slimming world again. 

Starting now to avoid the new year new me brigade. This isn’t old me saying I want a new me..It’s saying I want to be a better version of myself me. 

2016 has been rough. It started with the worst period ever. Literal TMI period and a feeling of oh my God I’m not going to survive this one. Dramatic yes. The feelings very much real. I signed up to a class and did really well for a few weeks then I slipped. I played and didn’t do it. I also let people get inside my head. My paranoia was at an all time high and it felt shit. Really shit for most of it. 

Christmas day I didn’t over eat but I felt like my secret eating in public, my trips to the sandwich lady plus another dinner. My sweets and chocolate binges need to end. 

I have no will power but following a plan does help me. It gives me boundaries and as long as I track I can be on plan..Feel good about myself and it not be all consuming.  When I’m not on plan I’m the one who is all consuming. Consuming everything I see and then some. 

I have a thing where I never feel full. I might day it and I might feel it for 5 mins but then I could eat again and might just do that. I think a lot of it is boredom and I need to get out of that habit. She says just having eaten 4 quality street and 4 biscuits. But no one saw me so I doesn’t count. No syns. Nothing to see here at all. 

Between now and new year I’m not sticking to it.  I’m trying to eat better but I’m not beating myself up for eating those things as long as I remember them and move on. 

I weighed in at boots this morning and and 1.1.5lbs lighter than when I rejoined in January so small mercies that I’m not heavier but I look at people who joined after me and stuck to it and can’t help but feel a lityke stab if what if